pain!!

supposingly yesterday v already sat to go santuacy end up she didn;'t reply my msg on time and i'd call her but no response from her phone meant she not picking the call!! yet she told me, she just woke up around 11 something!! after dat i have the voice conversation wit her on phone v chatted about SPA about half an hour liddat out of sudden she say she want go take shower, actually for the smart ppl like me will suspect sumthing, cos too rush suddenly she say want to take shower, u think u will believe anot, sure "NO" rite!! i might think the negative view of point, it is someone calling her??? she did promised me will call me back after her shower!! such crappy cos she didn't call her back!! i was very dissappointed wit her again n against!! my heart was so painful, i push all my date all got to do wit her n wait till mid of the night@!!nvm la, i think i should be more patient instead of too care about her!! cos v all still haven't got any commitment yet for wat matured thinking of me!! but is pain too!!haha..when u think back, where to find the "soh lo" like me!! about12.30 my friends called me where i am now? i said at home!! they jet me go hartmas for drink!! end up i also followed them to hartamas go to tis place called 'blackhole' the place was very classy n alot chun chick chill there!! then v get a seat for 12 pax cos need to wait for another 2 couple as well..8 of us seated in the font table wit whole brunch of chun chick, my fren was making a move getting to know them n go for intro among all of us!! i didn't have much reaction at there cos i was think of (kelly) dat time n waiting for her call!! such dissapointed again, haihs i try to makes myself to get drunk n crazy!!all of my fren asked me wat wrong wit u tonite? yet i dun bother them at all by saying i want go back edi d!! i reach home about 4 plus in the morning!! i can't sleep at all!! my heart refused to even more pain now!! so i asked myself not to think of her anymore!! but i can;t!! weaknesses of me!! received a call from my fren angelyn, she said dan i damm down right now, can u company me go for a drink!!then my response to her is i too tired lazy to go out from hse!!lazyness will cause ppl in trouble, she have to come all the way in tropicana n fetch me!! after awhile she reached outside of my hse, then i go yumcha wit her until 6 plus!! she cried nonstop..omg i also have my own problem, so v sama same cry!! haha, luckily i still strong still can gave some advice for her, she's now ok edi!! my turn she asked me wat happened!! my brain-jamming!! i didn;t tell her anything at all!! wat my response is send me back home!! haha..then i fall in sleep in her car!! she wake me up then i when in my hse took shower n have the well sleep not to think anymore!!

careless mistakes

wat is on her mind now? i really want to know, wheather see trying to escape from me althose she scared from me!! can anyone tell me, i'm lost now..pls help me, survive me, i need ur help!! i really don mean to scare u at the 1st place, i really want you know wat i felt in my heart by telling truth, being as true i think is no harmful, but it might scare her, i guess abit scary lah when think back last nite, i noe i shouldn't but the situation forced to be!! wateva is it, i don mind to apologize to u by saying sorry!! i'm sorry (kelly)..i beg i won't repeating the same mistakes again!! i've regret when i try to call u, cos u didn;t pick my call, i noe something goes wrongly!!pls accept my apologize!! "I"M SORRY KELLY"...i know is too fast to tell u truth i should spend more time in blogging here without action!! maybe my action is too stingy all for my own good never even care of u at all!! I scared i got no time to tell the truth, i scared i will regret later on, i can't lie to myself cos i'm not liar!!hehe..hope u can be more understanding in my situation!! being as lover, it hard to interpret or decribes how the love is being in my heart!! due to my careless mistakes

Too much love will kill you...

Mating butterflies .....The average lifespan for an adult butterfly is 20 to 40 days. Some species live no longer than three or four days; others may live up to six months.... what a life !!


Too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end...

Too much love will kill you...

All of Me (Louis Armstrong)

You took my kisses and all my love
You taught me how to care
Am I to be just remnant of a one side love affair

All you took I gladly gave
There is nothing left for me to save

All of me
Why not take all of me
Can't you seeI'm no good without you
Take my lipsI want to lose them
Take my arms
I'll never use them
Your goodbye left me with eyes that cry
How can I go on dear without youY
ou took the part that once was my heart
So why not take all of me

I WILL BE BACK (PERTH)

Today's after i met u n tell u my feeling to you!! i have decided not to go perth!! such stupidity and waste rite!! but i don seemed these is waste bcos i want to be wit the person dat i really LOVE whenever or wherever i goes!! I delayed the flight all bcos of u!!haha bcos of u (i think of kelly clarkson) bcos i haven;t got the chance to meet up wit u since hols! so i postponed to perth to 14th of july!! i was screwed up by my parents, hehe!! i didn't tell u tis nor mentioned to u i been scolded by them!! i know the second person dat gonna screw me is u!! i better not to tell, the best way is blogging here!!add on my daddy admitted into hospital causing by me delayed the flight!!!i can't do anything much bcos of u!! i hope i can meet up wit u have a nice talk from my heart!! yea,,i got the chance just now!!! I was every sadness cos my daddy admitted into hospital causing by me!! i'm really 'bai ka chai' haha!! i keep on telling myself kelly u're worth it for wat i do!! i'm not lying to u!! u really can check wit the hosp the record of my daddy!! maybe u will say i makes up a story telling to convience u or add mark in my probation!! i'm sorry i won;t do dat!! it is true!! I will be back to perth cos i deffered to february later on, i've tink kinda of changes all bcos of u, now u should noe how important is u to me, therefore u must be confident to me!! give me a trust

Wat is my mind (SINGAPORE)!!

I have stop blogging about 2 week from the day i left to singapore cos my snow was in singapore!!!!!!!!eventually i'm in kl!! I was looking on my phonebook into searching for you (KELLY NG) i keep on asking myself..should i call o shouldn;t i call or call later when i reach there!!myself can;t lets go anything..just go ahead called u in you didn;t pick up the call...I was worried about u the whole night, i can;t sleep well on dat night cos i couldn;t reach u yet!! all the negative sigh came out from my mind of thinking of u!!wat happened!! are she been kidnapped by someone!! I grant my life to exchange you back!! worry n worry!! do u remember my num althose u can always seek help from me...am willing to raise my hand for u!! without you to pay me back in sense of money or body!! I was so scared dat night!! the next day u msg me n told me you're in singapore!! o..no.. god bless u!! i have been moody, emo n stingy by using my fren as weapon o thingy can fired them from cooling down my pressure!!!haha..i took a nap for 2 hr n i woke up!! now my heart too cold down from busting!! the first things i do is asking myself again, r u so important in my life!! I straight away gave response YES, I DO!! these is no such girl is important than u (KELLY) even my ex;gf!! no 1 can reprensentative u from my heart till the late of my ex;gf !! abit unfair to her rite!!wat to do changes is just apart of our experiences life in past only i will be success in life and stability experience it!!!!!!!!!so u're v v v v very important than myself!! sometimes i don care or bother myself much until i met u!! I noe i have found the right person of me ( is u) nothing much i can do now, just waiting for ur call o sms!! i noe u won;t give me a call directly definately u will msg me dunno when!! i tell my self... I WAITING FOR U!!!!!!!! I hope can give u all the best things in my life to fulfillment ur needs!! I know i can promise u right now for time being but in future wateva u want i can fully support o give u the best things even all my life wat i can support!!!! I when to safari drank wit my dude, trying to sharing our love life, i hope i can gain more knowledgeable from them, cos i have been damm long in MY SINGLE LIFE!! i dunno how to get start my engine of body to make a movement from u!! i need sum superior advice n guidance to right stage in relationship. alot of thingy v shared got happiness and sadness in their love life!! i strong agree to them, but they all older than me should be more truly experienced in love!! now my mentality and morality can be say more intelligient to use!!!haha. yet now i was thinking for to convience by giving me chance!! i really stone here!! my dude or my 'chau tut' buddy was asking me..are you alright!! I say NO!! maybe i too strong feeling wit u in coll nor same goal as in SINGAPORE!!!

My feeling right now!!

after i have seem and meet her up, telling the truth apart of my heart, i felt myself now being as settle down rather than keep it on much heart even suffering!! I can tell you that my feeling right now even strong than before i seen due to the minutes and the seconds i hugging i was so touch in my heart. I really don expected much that you're gave me a hug at first sigh, maybe u might be shy. you're really shy..very weird in my mind cos you are not simple girl who does give ppl hug!! from tis i start u gain trust from u, cos u won;t simply giving to unknown ppl in future nor u keep telling me!!! OPEN!! wat is meant by OPEN!! open minded girl la duh!!! hehe, i was too happiest in my heart i can take u as grant and i won;t suspect any fishy o u will did something wrongly in way!! I hope i can hug from now until it may last as long, longer n longest from the starting point!! I truly in my heart by saying i won't dissappointed you. I will be forever and ever loving, caring, sharing, holding and falling wit u ever and ever. I know i can't simply by saying I LOVE YOU tis is quite responsible words...its not by saying the words to the girl exspecially u LOVE HER bcos girl will always take it as serious therefore cannot dissappointed hurting her or given hope to her nor refuse the words as u being told her. being as guy must really responsibility to wat he already say at first only u will be successful in love. I noe is not easy to convience girl to have commitment wit them cos it takes sometimes, yet i kept asking her for the chances, hence i must really give her time for consideration. hopefully in tis 3mths as probation i won't dissappointed her by doing wat i should and shouldn't. I also must understanding the consequences that I can't forcing her to love or giving me some hope, but she couldn't refuse from giving ppl to loved her. Now i'm seating rite in font of my notebook here clock's 4.20 morning, I still think about u nonstop even planning for our future!!u might think that i abit 'siao' or 'chau-tut' here, maybe i kinda of guy who is don break the rules!! i will be more faithful wit u n even loyal...at last (KELLY I REALLY LOVE U) am not kidding!!the truth n forever n ever!!